Top 5 for Wedding Budget Basics
Nothing kills the engagement high faster than talking budget. But, this is nothing to mess around with. Let’s jump right in…
1) Budget comes FIRST. Repeat after me: “I will not spend any money on the wedding until I work out my budget.” I’m serious. I don’t want to see you putting down venue deposits, signing contracts with florists, or even ordering save-the-dates online until you’ve had THE conversations with all involved parties about how much you have to spend on your wedding.
Notice I did not say “how much your wedding is going to cost” – that was on purpose. I talk about this a lot, and I’ll say it here again. Don’t start with some arbitrary number (like how much Google says the “average wedding” costs) and then figure out how you’re going to come up with the cash. Don’t ask, “How much does a wedding cost?” Instead, be smart. Figure out how much money you have to work with and build your budget around that number. No couple was every caught saying, “Oh my gosh! I’m soooo glad we took on massive amounts of debt to celebrate one day of our lives!” or “Wow! I’m just thrilled I did some serious damage to my relationship with my parents by guilting them into spending money they didn’t have!”
2) Talk actual numbers. Most people don’t like to talk money. Some people are VERY uncomfortable talking about money. Whatever the reason, it’s time to put those issues aside. It’s time to sit down have REAL conversation with parents, grandparents, your fiancé, yourself… anyone who is going to make a financial contribution to your wedding and talk REAL numbers.
Why? Stuff costs money. More importantly, stuff costs more money “now” than it did “then”.
Ok, that’s an oversimplification, but it is true. Unless you’ve recently had a sibling or close friend get married, and were privy to actual bills and receipts, you’re in for a lot sticker shock. If your parents or grandparents are contributing to the wedding fund, chances are pretty good the idea they have in their head about how much things costs is based on the last wedding they paid for – their own.
Imagine this: Your grandma has generously offered to pay for your wedding dress – “whatever you want, sweetie”. But, you never talk numbers. The last wedding dress she bought was for your mother 25-30+ years ago. She’s expecting to pay maybe around $500. But then you walk out of the dressing room in the $2500 designer gown you’ve fallen in love with. Now what…?
Which leads me to another important conversation – once you get the numbers, you need to know if these numbers are flexible (meaning – this is where you want to be, but you would be ok going over budget under certain circumstances) or if the numbers are firm (this is all the money there is, going over budget is not an option). Knowing this is very helpful once you start really interviewing vendors.
3) Allocation is up to you. OK, so you have the BIG number, but how do you allocate funds to the various different aspects of your wedding? This is where people really get tripped up. They can wrap their mind around having a big number, but allocating is whole different story.
Again, I really encourage people not to default to “average wedding costs” they may find online or on some wedding budget worksheet. How much you choose to spend on which items should really be a reflection of what’s important to you for your wedding. (See more on that in #4.) Those online worksheets are a great resource for a list of the standard items that go into a wedding that you need to consider as you allocate, but as far as the percentages go, make that decision for yourself.
The one number I will give you is 50%. About 50% of your budget will go to the reception basics (i.e. venue rental, food/beverage, chairs/tables/linens, etc). The other 50% goes to everything else (i.e. photography, flowers, entertainment, attire, paper goods, etc). This diving point is a good place to start.
4) Determine your Top 3 Wedding Goals (Knowing your “Why”). Knowing your “why” is concept that’s thrown around a lot in the entrepreneurial world, but it applies here too. Grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (or both depending on how you think the conversation will go) and sit down with your fiancé and really have a heart to heart about what is most important to the two of you for your wedding. In short, “why” are you having this wedding. You could just go to the courthouse to get married – having a wedding is a different thing – why are you doing it?
Talk it out. Write it out. Listen to each other’s points of view. And in the end, come up with a list of your Top 3 goals for your wedding. Be specific – don’t list things like “To have an awesome party”, instead, list “To be able to invite as many people as we want” or “To have our wedding at a specific type of venue”. Don’t go over three, because then you run the risk of having conflicting priorities, which defeats the whole purpose of the exercise.
There are no wrong answers here – they are 100% personal to the two of you. For more help on determining your wedding goals, check out my FREE download Your Top 3 Wedding Goals.
So, what does all this have to do with budget? Everything.
When you’re allocating funds, when you’re not sure if you should upgrade a package, when you feel conflicted about a certain expense… always refer back to your Top 3 and ask yourself, “Does this expense serve one of my Top 3?” This question will make your decision a lot easier.
It’s so easy to find yourself getting tunnel vision and “falling down the rabbit hole” with items you original swore you didn’t care about. Keep your list on the front of your wedding planning binder, put it on your fridge, make it the wallpaper on your phone. Make sure it’s in front of your face throughout the whole planning process to keep you grounded in how you’re spending your money.
5) Your budget is a living document. Once you’ve nailed down your budget, there’s no need to etch it in stone. It’s your money – it’s your wedding. You are more than free to reallocate funds as you go (just remember to always have your Top 3 in the front of your mind). Fell in love with a photographer who’s just outside your budget? Take a little cash from the florist. Want to upgrade the bar? Downgrade the paper goods. Want to add to the guest list? Subtract the videographer. You get the picture.
I also strongly recommend having a “slush fund” built into your budget. No matter how many different online worksheets you look at, unexpected expenses will come up – some necessary, some you just want. But either way, it’s nice to know that cash is there to cover to you. Trust me, you will use it.
Budgets can be intimidating and overwhelming, but they’re not nearly as scary as the panic that sets in when you realize you’re running out of money and you’re not done planning. Roll up your sleeves and do the hard work now, so you can plan with confidence all the way to the end.
Happy budgeting!
Love,
Victoria